perhaps in the interest of loving oneself…

hello and happy monday!

this is a picture of a painting of men with guns looking out to sea. and, of scary wallpaper.

it’s a picture i took of my childhood bedroom. i love my parents endlessly, but seriously: who would find such decor appropriate for a little girl’s room? my father would, that’s who!

i’m an only child, and that means i spent a lot of time alone in that room, forging a sisterhood with my barbie dolls along with a swollen imagination wherein i dreamed i lived in a pink plastic house in malibu and drove a matching corvette. but at night, in my real room, i forgot all about barbie. i’d lie in bed watching the wallpaper eagles turn shadowy and the blank space create a strange repeating profile of a man’s face. it creeped me out.

(has anyone read charlotte perkins gillman’s the yellow wallpaper? it’s crazy good– a short story about a nutty & misunderstood lady who was obsessed with wallpaper, writing, and being alone. when i read that one in high school i could sort of relate, minus the part about mental illness.)

as far as i’m concerned, the biggest advantage to being an only child with a lot of time on my hands is this: i got to be alone a lot. i didn’t think of it as a luxury at the time, of course. but now things are different. i live with my guy and two animals  in a teeny house. i am either touching people or counseling them five days a week. so, not a lotta space for the solo in there.

but this weekend? the guy went out of town, and i spent it alone! such a beautiful, welcome, overdue treat.

* i slept with my limbs stretching across the whole bed, taking up as much space as i could. i swear, i woke up bigger.

* i drank wine and laughed and cried with a girlfriend while she gave me a teenager-manicure.

* i ate fruit salad and ice cream sandwiches.

* i went thrifting and found pretty things i will show you here this week!

* i stayed up late sewing and woke up early to play in the garden!

i also had the room to learn something important. i realized that the life i’m living now, my very own life, is just about halfway on the map between the eagle bedroom and the pink plastic house. and i think that’s just about right.

being alone is good for the soul. and if you don’t believe me, you might want to click on these blue letters here to see how to do it for yourself. (you’re welcome!)

thanks for stopping by! xo


3 thoughts on “perhaps in the interest of loving oneself…

  1. Pingback: checking off items. | things to tend to

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