oh, california.

hello, paradise. i’ve missed you. xo


the things we do for love.

miss v turned eleven. i cannot say in words what this girl means to me, so i don’t write about her much, but she is the closest dear one to my heart. every time i think about her when i’m away from home, every time i give her a kiss on top of that scruffy nape of hers, i am a bowl of mush. this is the friend who taught me much of what i know of love. this is the friend who devotes her life to mine, who doesn’t hold mistakes against me, who never judges, whose good cheer and sweetness and pluck are limitless. yes yes yes yes yes, she says to life. this girl is an adventurer and so, i did something pretty nerdy & i got her a bike trailer.

we’ve been riding bikes most evenings & taking long weekend rides in and around the city (currently sweet on the springwater corridor), & thought miss v might enjoy these jaunts as well. thanks to kenny, a redheaded firefighter who listed it on craigslist, & who charged only a tiny fraction of what he paid for it, v is now styled out in a brand new burley tail wagon. kenny, you are awesome!

i was a little bit worried that she’d be scared of it, so i introduced it along with a side of bacon. bacon makes anything not-scary, and the verdict came in fast: the girl adores her new wheels. (here’s a link to our new theme song.)

i hope your week is off to a nice start!


the wind at my back

these weeks have been a flurry, friends, running all day and then, feet up for an hour and flopping into bed. summer things have been accomplished, and big changes are happening, too, career-wise. i was offered a new position at an old job, but this one is salaried, is fulltime, means financial security. i have never been terribly motivated by money, but hand-to-mouth living has been privately getting me down for awhile now, and i’m willing to let go of a certain amount of freedom in exchange for paying my mortgage without experiencing palpitations. i’ll keep my business running on the side, and breathe deeply and work on time management and on letting go of things like estate sales on fridays when the magic happens. (sad face.)

but that is all really okay; it is. because when you let go of things you get lighter, you can feel the currents pushing and you can move with them instead of against. when you let go of what’s extra you can hear your own heart beating. and when you listen, it gets louder and louder and louder. i’m placing my bets on that.




summer sweet.

hi friends, thank you for some sweet words about my last post. i’m glad you want to hear about real life and vaginas. this morning, though, i’m thinking more about how to hang on to the balmy summertime days, how to make these memories last a bit longer. we’ve taken bike rides after dinner all week. the carpenter picked sweet peas and straw in the meadow at the bluffs at sunset, a bouquet for my bike basket. the big tree in the back yard is shaking out some leaves already, crunch crunch crunch. a glass of pink wine and crunching around in the yard go nicely together. there is a feeling to go along with pink wine, a feeling of… i should be wearing a housedress and smoking a virginia slim, letting the ash grow long and spindly, waving goodbye to someone driving off in a chevy nova. something like that. something slightly tinged with sadness and change. something slightly tacky and glamorous, in a lee-press on nail kind of a way. falltime is coming. it’s been awhile since i’ve built a fire.
the hummingbirds are still all summer buzz, though. they wake me every morning, peeping around in the hibiscus tree. they’re so tiny and so loud! everything is full of leaf and bloom and fruit, we are eating what we’ve sown and it tastes sweet and clean, like work and the passage of time. i wish summer would last forever. not forever, but twice as long as it will. it’s supposed to hit 90 this week.

this weekend, i’ve got friends in town. we will eat bacon corn hash, and drink strong coffee, and remember fun/ awkward/ hilarious stories about high school. i finished painting the back porch, & front porch, i’m coming for you. i’m having a yard sale on labor day. how much living i can cram into a weekend is quite a lot. i hope so. have a great weekend, folks! put your feet up some, if you can. dangle your legs into water  someplace. rock on a hammock. i’ll be back next week with pictures of something totally awesome. gypsy caravan, anyone? yes, ’round here we think so.